First, I feel the need to give everyone a quick background of myself so that you all know my journey and my new experiences.
My name is Amanda, and from the time I was 13 until I hit about 25, I had very strong Pagan beliefs. What is Paganism? Well, to a lot of people, society over the course of history has twisted it into something terrible and dark, something that Satan himself guides and whispers through. Hollywood has perpetuated this idea, and movies like The Craft (which honestly have a lot of truth to them) don't quite help because they glamorize what actually is, and ended up taking it to a dark place, which most Pagans aren't.
Traditional Paganism is a polytheistic belief in the Mother and Father, and through their union and grace, they created the universe and everything in it. Pagans traditionally lead very peaceful lives, living with and for the land and all the creatures in it. They live by the Golden Rule, and they believe that whatever you put into the universe will come back upon you threefold, be it good, bad, or neutral.
Prior to my journey as a Pagan, I had been a somewhat Christian; mainly, a Christian because that's what was being taught to me and not something I had chosen myself. My mother's family is Catholic, my father's family a smorgasbord of Christian: Baptist, Southern Baptist, Catholic, Methodist, Anglican, Lutheran, Episcopalian... literally every grandparent and great grandparent had a different Christian belief they claimed. Since my parents have been divorced since before I can remember, we spent weekdays with Mom, and weekends with Dad. We also went to public schools, so any knowledge I have of any organized religion is basically nonexistent.
Up until about 2 years ago. You see, in 2010, I had a rough year. My third daughter was born, the family I had grown with my husband at the time was suddenly almost homeless and jobless, and I ended up being the sole income for 5 people at a full-time job that was 45 minutes away, and we only had 1 working vehicle. Fast forward 4 months, and my family lost my maternal grandmother to cancer, a hard, painful, sad journey finally come to an end. My grandmother was the rock upon which my maternal family was built, and to lose that foundation was indescribable. Suddenly I began to question everything I thought I believed in so strongly. How could I move forward? What would my family do without her? What would I do without her? I had a terrible sadness in me that was stronger than ever (and not helped with my lifelong battle with depression). I had a thought of maybe I would never see her again. Maybe my beliefs and everything I thought was right was wrong, and what if I never saw her again because of it? Then in December 2010, I left my now ex-husband, and that was yet another blow to me, and the life I was trying to make for myself and my three daughters.
I went on for years questioning what I did and did not believe. In 2012, Ben and I had our first date after I got off work one night at our local Denny's, and something in me sat up and took a good look at him and recognized something in him before we even made it out my front door for dinner. Here was a man who knew himself, who knew what he wanted, and was confident in everything he did. Here was a man who was responsible, who had a plan, who was charming and attractive and intelligent. Here was a man who was looking for the things in me, that I was looking for in him... a lifetime partner. From date #1, I knew that I wanted to spend a very long time with him, and the more I spent with him, the more I knew that he was what I wanted. Ben also has a very strong, unwavering Catholic faith, and I admired that no matter what life threw at him, he believed. That alone interested me.
In 2014, while pregnant with my fourth daughter, we had to move, and because of that, we decided to enroll my daughters into Catholic school. Because we rent and have plans to one day buy our own house, we didn't want the girls to make yet another new set of friends only to lose them when we bought a house. The fact that the Catholic school system in our city is also the best education we can provide for them was also a huge selling point. I've always supported the idea that whatever religion my daughters decided for themselves was very important, and because they were now in Catholic school, I wanted to show them that I was being supportive. Ben and I joined the Saints Joseph and Paul parish in town since my maternal aunt and my maternal grandfather are parishioners there, and it was hard for me at first. The only experience I had had up until then with Catholic churches was not in the most positive of light... I had felt judged and like an outsider at all previous visits, and not welcomed at all. The first several weeks, I imagined that people were looking at us and wondering who these new people were that dared to come into their church and take up their pews, and my nervousness was palatable. But the more I was there, the more I eased into it, and the more I began to listen to Father's homilies and the readings at Mass. And the more I listened, the more I paid attention, the stronger I felt a voice telling me that I was at home in those Masses, that I was at home in that church and that faith. I felt God calling me home. And so midway through my first year at Sts Joe and Paul, I decided to enter into RCIA, a program for adults wishing to enter the Catholic church.
I started the RCIA program in August of last year, and so far my journey has been amazing and educational. I have definitely grown in spirit and in faith, and progressively have felt more and more right in my decision. The anxiety and depression I have known for most of my life have lessened, as I have learned to put in faith in God, that He has my back, and that whatever I endure, however easy or hard, He has a plan for me. I believe that my experiences in my past are for a reason, and that I have learned lessons that were meant for me to learn in order to bring me to where I am today.
A unique experience to my RCIA process is that during Advent and Lent, our church has had Father Tony Shonis as a guest speaker from a parish in a nearby city about the Birth and Passion of Jesus from a more historical perspective, about what was going on at the time that these things happened, at the time that these stories were written and recorded, and who the authors were talking to and why the differ and where they're similar. My best friend and I have also undertaken the endeavor of reading the Bible chronologically, a broken-down list of what to read daily she found on a blog online.
The rest of my posts are about my journey reading the Bible, with maybe a splattering here and there of what I learn and glean as I go. To forewarn ye readers... I am a sarcastic, straight-forward, no-holds-bar kind of person, and the things I write are pure interpretations of what I see, read, and learn.
Hopefully, you can enjoy!
Amanda
Daily Bible Study- http://www.weeshare.net/category/bible-study
Father Tony Shonis's Passion Narratives- http://stjpc.org/news/the-passion-narratives/
My name is Amanda, and from the time I was 13 until I hit about 25, I had very strong Pagan beliefs. What is Paganism? Well, to a lot of people, society over the course of history has twisted it into something terrible and dark, something that Satan himself guides and whispers through. Hollywood has perpetuated this idea, and movies like The Craft (which honestly have a lot of truth to them) don't quite help because they glamorize what actually is, and ended up taking it to a dark place, which most Pagans aren't.
Traditional Paganism is a polytheistic belief in the Mother and Father, and through their union and grace, they created the universe and everything in it. Pagans traditionally lead very peaceful lives, living with and for the land and all the creatures in it. They live by the Golden Rule, and they believe that whatever you put into the universe will come back upon you threefold, be it good, bad, or neutral.
Prior to my journey as a Pagan, I had been a somewhat Christian; mainly, a Christian because that's what was being taught to me and not something I had chosen myself. My mother's family is Catholic, my father's family a smorgasbord of Christian: Baptist, Southern Baptist, Catholic, Methodist, Anglican, Lutheran, Episcopalian... literally every grandparent and great grandparent had a different Christian belief they claimed. Since my parents have been divorced since before I can remember, we spent weekdays with Mom, and weekends with Dad. We also went to public schools, so any knowledge I have of any organized religion is basically nonexistent.
Up until about 2 years ago. You see, in 2010, I had a rough year. My third daughter was born, the family I had grown with my husband at the time was suddenly almost homeless and jobless, and I ended up being the sole income for 5 people at a full-time job that was 45 minutes away, and we only had 1 working vehicle. Fast forward 4 months, and my family lost my maternal grandmother to cancer, a hard, painful, sad journey finally come to an end. My grandmother was the rock upon which my maternal family was built, and to lose that foundation was indescribable. Suddenly I began to question everything I thought I believed in so strongly. How could I move forward? What would my family do without her? What would I do without her? I had a terrible sadness in me that was stronger than ever (and not helped with my lifelong battle with depression). I had a thought of maybe I would never see her again. Maybe my beliefs and everything I thought was right was wrong, and what if I never saw her again because of it? Then in December 2010, I left my now ex-husband, and that was yet another blow to me, and the life I was trying to make for myself and my three daughters.
I went on for years questioning what I did and did not believe. In 2012, Ben and I had our first date after I got off work one night at our local Denny's, and something in me sat up and took a good look at him and recognized something in him before we even made it out my front door for dinner. Here was a man who knew himself, who knew what he wanted, and was confident in everything he did. Here was a man who was responsible, who had a plan, who was charming and attractive and intelligent. Here was a man who was looking for the things in me, that I was looking for in him... a lifetime partner. From date #1, I knew that I wanted to spend a very long time with him, and the more I spent with him, the more I knew that he was what I wanted. Ben also has a very strong, unwavering Catholic faith, and I admired that no matter what life threw at him, he believed. That alone interested me.
In 2014, while pregnant with my fourth daughter, we had to move, and because of that, we decided to enroll my daughters into Catholic school. Because we rent and have plans to one day buy our own house, we didn't want the girls to make yet another new set of friends only to lose them when we bought a house. The fact that the Catholic school system in our city is also the best education we can provide for them was also a huge selling point. I've always supported the idea that whatever religion my daughters decided for themselves was very important, and because they were now in Catholic school, I wanted to show them that I was being supportive. Ben and I joined the Saints Joseph and Paul parish in town since my maternal aunt and my maternal grandfather are parishioners there, and it was hard for me at first. The only experience I had had up until then with Catholic churches was not in the most positive of light... I had felt judged and like an outsider at all previous visits, and not welcomed at all. The first several weeks, I imagined that people were looking at us and wondering who these new people were that dared to come into their church and take up their pews, and my nervousness was palatable. But the more I was there, the more I eased into it, and the more I began to listen to Father's homilies and the readings at Mass. And the more I listened, the more I paid attention, the stronger I felt a voice telling me that I was at home in those Masses, that I was at home in that church and that faith. I felt God calling me home. And so midway through my first year at Sts Joe and Paul, I decided to enter into RCIA, a program for adults wishing to enter the Catholic church.
I started the RCIA program in August of last year, and so far my journey has been amazing and educational. I have definitely grown in spirit and in faith, and progressively have felt more and more right in my decision. The anxiety and depression I have known for most of my life have lessened, as I have learned to put in faith in God, that He has my back, and that whatever I endure, however easy or hard, He has a plan for me. I believe that my experiences in my past are for a reason, and that I have learned lessons that were meant for me to learn in order to bring me to where I am today.
A unique experience to my RCIA process is that during Advent and Lent, our church has had Father Tony Shonis as a guest speaker from a parish in a nearby city about the Birth and Passion of Jesus from a more historical perspective, about what was going on at the time that these things happened, at the time that these stories were written and recorded, and who the authors were talking to and why the differ and where they're similar. My best friend and I have also undertaken the endeavor of reading the Bible chronologically, a broken-down list of what to read daily she found on a blog online.
The rest of my posts are about my journey reading the Bible, with maybe a splattering here and there of what I learn and glean as I go. To forewarn ye readers... I am a sarcastic, straight-forward, no-holds-bar kind of person, and the things I write are pure interpretations of what I see, read, and learn.
Hopefully, you can enjoy!
Amanda
Daily Bible Study- http://www.weeshare.net/category/bible-study
Father Tony Shonis's Passion Narratives- http://stjpc.org/news/the-passion-narratives/
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